Dreaming...

Dreams are suppose to be glorous and magical. A beautiful girl, running through a field of lavender. Fun being had by all the players in the scene. Somehow I only see these scenes on my TV screen. My dreams are so very often troubled. I have about 5 to 7 or so re occuring dreams that seem to just re play over and over again in my sleep. There is the one that I am running crazy fast down a spirl staircase yet never reach an end. Round and round. Its a white painted staircase with white walls. I think its an old building. Round and round... Then there is one where I seem to be flying, its very often through like a jungle or where wild animals, lions or cougars or something. Then the one that I'm being pushed down the stairs. This one is so vivid! It feels so real I remember so badly feel myself grabbing the sides of the wall, holding on for dear life. One that I have been having since I was a kid. I'm in my childhood bed and the hallway light is on. I can hear the adults whispering and for some reason, I'm scared and very sad. However, I don't know if this is a real life happening, that I now dream about. It's kind of fuzzy. So many have told me that I talk in my sleep, mumble. I also cry, alot. I think that in my dreaming is where I get all my negative emotions out. I dream that Mom comes back but keeps luggage at the door because she has to leave again. The entire dream is heartbreaking. I'm so excited that she is there but cry the whole time knowing that she is going again. Then there is another "Mom" dream that she came back to us and told us that she wasn't dead but in this one, she is always seperated from us. Its so sad. I hate that she doesn't talk to me much in my dreams. I can see her but I get no answers. I don't like my dreams.